A Rocky Path Page 15

  That night she went back to the cave, hoping to find Patrick. She called to him for more than half an hour. This was beginning to seem familiar-she had done this once before when she was trying to get Patrick back. Was she going to have to jump in the water and try to drown herself to get him to come back again?

  She walked despondently through the cave and then by the water. She had never felt so horrible in her life. How had this happened to her anyway? How had she fallen in love with a ghost, a man she could never really have? Could things possibly get any worse? Was this all just a nightmare that she would wake up from and find herself in bed with her husband?

  She finally resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to be able to find Patrick. She thought that perhaps she had lost him forever, without even being able to tell him goodbye. Tears slipped from her eyes and down her cheeks. She felt as if the world was dropping out from under her and she was falling into an abyss of despair.

  “Goodbye, Patrick,” she whispered softly. Then she walked back up to the house and didn’t look back.

  Chapter Twenty Nine

  Two weeks passed by without any word from Patrick. Emily had moped and cried for the first week, but she realized that life had to go on and she had a job and an obligation to her employer. So she pulled herself up out of her grief and started to go on with her life. She was always sad now, but she did her job quietly and efficiently. She wasn’t the same woman she had been before, but she never gave anyone any reason to question her. She just stayed out of everyone’s way.

  One evening, she went out to the garden to take a walk. She stood at the top of the steps that led down to the water, but she didn’t venture any farther than that. Sam came out of the house and stood beside her.

  “Want to talk about it?” he asked.

  “No. I just want to be left alone for awhile. I’ll be alright. It will just take time.”

  “So your lover is gone now?”

  “Yes, he’s gone. He left before I thought he would, and he didn’t say goodbye.”

  “Emily, I know you’re hurting. But life has to go on. I wish you would go out with Jamie and me. We’ve asked you several times this week, but you never say yes.”

  “I just don’t feel like doing anything right now. I wouldn’t be very good company.”

  “Come here,” he said and gathered her into his arms. He felt safe and strong.

  “Well, I guess I was right.”

  Emily sprang out of Sam’s arms and whirled around. There was Patrick, halfway up the steps, his face a mask of fury.

  “Patrick!” she exclaimed as she rushed to him.

  As she tried to put her arms around him, he pushed her away.

  “What’s wrong with you? I called for you and you never came. You’ve been gone for two weeks and now you’re pushing me away? What’s happened?”

  His face was like stone as he said, “You didn’t come that night after you promised you would. I waited and waited and you never came and I didn’t hear from you. I realized that you had decided that you didn’t really want to be with me. I thought perhaps you had taken up with this fellow here. I see that I was right.”

  “What? What are you talking about? I left you a note! And I haven’t taken up with anybody.”

  “I just now found you in his arms.”

  “Wait a minute,” said Sam. “I was just comforting her because of what you had done. How could you have run off and not even said goodbye?”

  “This is none of your concern,” said Patrick coldly.

  “Not my concern? Are you kidding me? You stand there and accuse me of messing around with Emily, and then you say it’s not my concern?”

  “Stop it!” cried Emily. “Patrick, I left you a note on the blanket. I weighted it done with a rock so it wouldn’t get lost. I had to go to a dinner because Rebecca and Sam were speaking and I was expected to be there. I didn’t get back until late and I was tired. I didn’t think you would want me to come to see you that late. I needed to go to bed. I came back the next evening and found the cave in shambles. Did you do that?”

  Patrick looked away. “I was so angry that you didn’t show up. I convinced myself that you had left me for someone else and I lost control. I destroyed everything I could get my hands on.”

  “Look,” said Sam, “I think I need to go back to the house and let you two work things out. Emily, are you going to be okay out here?”

  “I’ll be fine. Patrick would never hurt me.”

  Sam left them then. Emily went up to Patrick and touched his arm hesitantly.

  “Patrick, after all the things we’ve said and done, how could you not trust me? How could you think that I would go to another man when I love you more than anything?”

  He looked at her, and there was pain and regret in his eyes. “I’m so sorry I doubted you, Emily. All I could think of was that you didn’t show up after you had said you would be there. So many years ago, Bridgett hurt me so badly. I guess I just couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to find a woman that would be so devoted to me.”

  “You should never have doubted me, Patrick. There was supposed to be trust between us.”

  Patrick couldn’t meet her eyes. “Can you ever forgive me? Or have I ruined everything that we had together by one act of distrust?”

  She reached out, put her fingers under his chin and lifted his face up so that he had to look at her.

  “Patrick, what you did was hurtful. You didn’t trust me, and then you stayed away no matter how much I called for you. It’s hard for me to understand what you did.”

  “Emily, I couldn’t hear you calling for me. There’s a place I can go. It’s just at the edge of this world and I can just exist there with no one seeing me. I didn’t know you wanted me to come back. The only way I can connect with you when I am there is if something triggers it. Once it was when you were drowning. This time was when I thought you were in the arms of another man. I was jealous of this man anyway, so when I sensed he was holding you, it pulled me back.”

  “You really didn’t know I was looking for you?”

  “No, I didn’t know. Look, I know I should have trusted you and I feel very foolish now. I don’t know why I was thinking those things about you. Please, Emily, I need you to forgive me. I will never distrust you again. I promise I will always have faith in you and our love.”

  Emily wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head down on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding in her ear.

  “I forgive you,” she whispered.

  * * *

  Emily and Patrick lay together on a new blanket that he had somehow come up with. There were new pillows, too. His arms were wrapped tightly around her, his lips against her hair.

  “I keep wondering how you come by these blankets and pillows. And you brought new candles, too. I was only in the house for a few minutes before I came down to the cave. How could you have gotten all this stuff in that short period of time?”

  “Hmmmm. There are some secrets that I intend to keep.”

  She punched him lightly on the arm and he bit her playfully on the ear.

  “Hey, that’s not fair. You’re trying to take my mind off the subject.”

  “No, I’m just trying to put your mind on another subject.”

  She slipped her hand up under his shirt and starting rubbing his stomach. He moaned softly and took her hand away.

  “Please don’t do that, Patrick.”

  “You’re going to make me lose control if you keep touching me like that.”

  Emily smiled at him. “Just lie there and enjoy the sensation. You don’t have to do anything, just take pleasure in the sensation. As long as you aren’t touching me, you can’t hurt me, right?”

  “In theory. But if feelings build up inside of me, the energy may escape. Let’s not take any chances, alright?”

  Emily sighed in resignation. “Okay, but I’m not happy about it.”

  He pushed her gently back on the blanket and bent o
ver her and kissed her softly. Then his lips parted and moved against hers a little more urgently. His tongue slipped softly into her open mouth and explored its sweetness. The pressure of his mouth on hers intensified and his kiss became deeper and harder. She moaned with pleasure and pressed her body against his. She could feel how hard he was against her and that brought her passion to a fever pitch. She reached down to touch him. He groaned softly and moved away from her. He rolled over on his back, breathing hard and rapidly. She cried out in protest and tried to gather him back into her arms, but he tenderly took her hands and kissed both of them, then he released them and sat up. He turned his back to her for a few minutes as he composed himself. She didn’t say anything, sensing that he needed silence to focus on getting himself under control.

  “Emily, we are going to have to be more careful,” he said shakily. “Once again, I almost lost my self control. I need to be strong and not give in to the pleasure of your body. If I hurt you, I would never forgive myself. I love kissing you and holding you, but we keep letting it get too intense. I just don’t have the control I need to make sure you stay safe.”

  “It looked to me like you had a lot of control. You stopped, didn’t you? Even when I touched you, knowing I shouldn’t, you were able to stop me. You were able to break away, even when I couldn’t. You have more will power than I do.”

  Patrick looked at her, his eyes still stormy with passion. “I almost didn’t. I almost allowed things to happen that could kill you. I want you so badly and it’s killing me not to have you. And to know that I will never have you.”

  “I feel the same way, Patrick. I can’t stand it either. So our choices are to either not be together at all like this, or to stay in complete control when we are kissing or holding each other. Which is going to be harder?”

  “I am.”

  “Patrick….”

  He smiled. “I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes humor can help us not to be so miserable. Emily, I think it would be much harder for me to not be with you. I would rather have just a little bit of you than none at all.”

  “I agree. So come here and kiss me, and I will try to control myself,” she said with a smile.

  They lay together all night, kissing and touching, but being very careful not to let things get out of control. The dawn found them there, sleeping peacefully together. Emily opened her eyes and saw Patrick lying there. What a pleasant feeling, waking up with the man she loved.

  “Hey, wake up sleepy head,” she said, playfully prodding him.

  “Is it morning already?” he asked, yawning sleepily.

  “Yes. And what’s with the yawning? Do ghosts really need to sleep? That really doesn’t make sense, Patrick.”

  “We don’t really have to sleep, but we can if we want to. It’s a pleasure we can indulge in.”

  “That’s just weird,” she teased. “Anyway, I have to go. Hey, I’ve never seen you except in the evening and the wee hours of the morning. I was beginning to think you couldn’t appear until late afternoon.”

  “I can appear whenever I want to. It’s just that you happened to always see me then.”

  “So if I came during the day, I could see you?”

  “Sure you can. Tomorrow’s Saturday. Do you want to spend the day with me?”

  “I would love that. There’s something I want to try. I mentioned it before, but then we went through all that with you leaving for two weeks.”

  Patrick grimaced. “Please don’t remind me of my foolishness. What’s this thing you want to try?”

  “Something that might help get you home. I won’t go into it now, but I’ll tell you about it Saturday. I can’t come down tonight. Rebecca wanted all of us to go out to dinner. I really need to go. I’ve been a real jerk for the last couple of weeks, so I want to get back in everyone’s good graces.”

  “I understand. I need to give you some space, anyway. You do have a life away from me. And I won’t be jealous or distrustful again. I promise.”

  She kissed him softly and quickly, then got up to go. He held onto her hand for a moment, then let her go. She left the cave and went back to the house to start her day.

  Chapter Thirty

  Emily tried to sneak back into the house without anyone seeing her. She thought she had it made as she started up the stairs, but someone cleared his throat behind her. She turned around to see Sam standing there.

  “Whew, I’m glad it’s you. You aren’t going to tattle on me, are you?”

  “I don’t know. What’s it worth to you for me to keep silent?” he teased.

  “Come on, Sam. Don’t say anything, please. I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone. You’re the only one who knows about this situation.”

  “Of course I’m not going to say anything. This will be our secret. But I can’t cover for you forever. You probably shouldn’t be sneaking around all hours of the night. Now you better hurry up and get upstairs. Everyone is in the kitchen eating breakfast and they will be done soon.”

  “Thanks, Sam. I owe you one,”

  “A big one,” he said with a grin.

  She hurried up the stairs and into her room before anyone noticed her. She took a quick shower and got ready for work. She didn’t have time for a workout this morning. She came back downstairs to eat breakfast just as everyone else was leaving.

  “You’re a little later than usual this morning,” said Jamie. “You didn’t work out either, did you?”

  “Nope. I thought I would take a day off from exercise today.”

  “That’s unusual for you. Well, I missed you today.”

  “I’ll probably see you tomorrow morning. Sorry I missed eating breakfast with everyone. I just slept in this morning.”

  Emily sure was glad she had gotten by with staying out all night. But Sam was right; she was going to have to stop sneaking around so much. She just wished that she didn’t have to. She wished that her relationship with Patrick was normal and that she could introduce him to everybody and go out on a real date. She sighed resignedly.

  She grabbed a quick bite to eat and went upstairs to work. She was in a better mood now and she was enjoying her work once again. Casper and Jake sat by her feet most of the day as if they also knew she was happier and, therefore, good company again.

  When dinner time rolled around, the family got ready to go out. As usual, Jamie went along, too. They were going to a seafood restaurant that had just opened up and Emily was actually looking forward to it. Now that she knew everything was alright between Patrick and her, she was able to relax and enjoy life.

  “Rebecca, this is great,” said Jamie. “I really appreciate you asking me to come along.”

  “Yes, me too. I know you’re my employer, but I really feel like I’m part of your family,” said Emily.

  “I feel that way, too. And Jamie, you’re part of the family, too. I wish your mother had come along with us,” said Rebecca.

  “Oh, this is getting way too mushy,” complained Sam.

  “You are an old softy, too, admit it,” said Emily.

  They all laughed and everyone had a great time. When they got back to the house, they all went into the library and played board games until the wee hours of the morning. Emily felt like she was really among family, that she really belonged here. She was going to need that support when Patrick went away. And she knew that was going to happen. When she asked him to show her the past, she was sure she would find out what really happened to Patrick. And when she did, she would tell him and then he would go away. And she would never see him again, at least not in this life. But she was going to have to accept what was going to happen and be happy for him. And she would survive this.

  Chapter Thirty One

  Saturday turned out to be a beautiful day. Late fall in Maine would always be cold, but it was sunny and the colors were vibrant. Part of her was excited, knowing that she would be spending the day with Patrick. But part of her was scared and sad, also knowing that she would probably lose him s
oon. She knew she had to think of him first, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she had it in her to be unselfish when the time came.

  On a whim, she packed a picnic basket. She wasn’t sure if ghosts could eat or not. The subject had never come up between Patrick and her, and it had never occurred to her to ask about it. So she took enough food for both of them, just in case.

  She went down to the rocks, butterflies doing somersaults and speed flying in her stomach. Her butterflies should have tried out for the Blue Angels. She started to the cave, but Patrick appeared in front of her before she got that far.

  “You’re going to have to stop doing that. It’s really spooky,” she scolded.

  He grinned. “I’m supposed to be spooky. After all, I am a ghost.”

  She smiled back at him and said, “I brought a picnic lunch for us. I had no idea whether or not to pack you anything. We’ve never discussed whether or not a ghost can eat. So I brought enough for both of us just in case.”

  “That was nice of you, Emily. The truth is, ghosts don’t have to eat, but they can if they want to. The food doesn’t give nourishment, but it does give pleasure.”

  “So, um, where does it go?” asked Emily, a little embarrassed.

  He laughed. “It doesn’t go anywhere. The energy generated by a ghost’s body just consumes all the food or drink. It just sort of evaporates.”

  “That’s pretty weird.”

  “Most people would think it was pretty weird that you are sitting here talking to a ghost.”

  The mood was light, and Emily thought that they both knew something more serious was coming. They wanted to put it off as long as they could. They sat down on the rocks where Patrick had spread a blanket.